A Need to Forget

I need to forget this boy, the thought of him is killing me. I need to start doing doing shit, getting my mind off of this boy, shit... I hate my life. Just fyi i'm planning my suicide currently, not that anyone cares, cause no one is reading this anyway... but ya, soon, soon.....

NO HOPE

I'm so in love with what was my boy friend, and i seriously dont know what to do... all of a sudden he comes to school dressed hella nice like ive never seen him before, its out of my grasp why.... and not to mention he wont contact me what so ever, and he said he would walk with me this morning and completely blew me off..... I think he might be seeing someone..... ITS KILLING ME... like what the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK????

The Last 3 Months

So this is it. The last three months of high school. Yeah, i'm excited.... But i'm also scared. And it doesn't help that i don't become a legal adult until 6 months after that.... And to be able to stay in foster care i have to either be in high school, college, or have a job... Why can't i be a normal kid that turns 18 during senior year? Then at least they'd give me a break before i had to start college... But no I have to finish high school and immediatly enroll in college.... Everyone's dream, right? NOTTT!!!!!! oh well though, at least this will give me a head start on life, i wont be kicked out on my ass with mo support like foster youths used to be. So OK, maybe this is the best thing for me, but i dont want to grow up!!! Ha ha! I spent my whole life saying I cant wait until I'm 18, and now i fucking DREAD the day.... lol, that's just how it works i guess...