Fucking Big Mistake

So i just made the biggest mistake of my life.. i just beat the person that meant the most to me in my life... my boy friend, the person i told myself i would never lay my hands on.... i don't know what happened.... it was just i didn't understand what was happening, and i couldn't comprehend why he was throwing everything we had worked so hard for away like that after i told him everything i keep close and hidden, and he told me shit to.... i thought everything was going great and then everything just went down the toilet.... i wanted to be with him and then i layed my hands on his beautiful soul.... am i a monster? i dont know.... but i feel so ugly inside.... so ugly....

Don't You Wonder....

Why do girls spend hours every morning taking care of themselves just so they will be accepted when guys throw whatever the fuck they want on and walk out the door and everyone still loves them because they are them....... Why do girls have to stay below a certain weight when guys can gain a shit ton and still be accepted for who they are....... How come a guy can say "ima fuck three bitches today" and be the coolest shit yet a girl barely talks to three guys and is labeled a whore...... I once had a crush on a boy, when i asked about him to someone, they said hes funny, he fucked so many bitches, the last girl he fucked was a stupid whore, she got an std from him... so why is he cool and she a diseased tramp??? i sit and wonder these questions but can never comprehend.......